1 John 4:19 We love because God first loved us.
As this year is coming to an end. I would like to expand a bit more on a subject that we will continue to advocate for in the future. I am learning more than ever the greater importance of self-love, a subject we covered earlier this year.
The holiday's often suggest that love is expressed most effectively by how much you can do for another person. What you can buy them or where you can take them, etc. But if trauma has taught me anything, it is that showing love in its most genuine and authentic way is how you show love towards yourself.
Self-love is an area I am constantly working on, especially now being a mother of three beautiful babies. As I think back on my journey, I ignored the fact that I too needed to show up for myself with the same effort i put towards showing up for everyone else. I often catch myself in giving so much in others that I forget to reflect on whether I am distracting myself from other issues, or if I'm being filled up while filling up those that I love.
There is nothing wrong with giving, there is certainty nothing wrong with extending love to those you know need it. It is however a disservice to yourself not recognizing that you are equally as deserving as the time and effort spent on making others happy. This is especially critical to assess while healing, as we often feel like our baggage, and issues are too much to handle all at once, so we put our hearts to good use. We engross ourselves in other people's issues to distract from the pieces still needing mending in our lives. I gave my time to friends and even strangers to help them but at the same time to block my hurt and sorrow in order to forget that I too was broken.
It is true what they say you must love your self first in order for others to love you how you deserve to be loved because it is in that moment, giving becomes less depleting. Giving love becomes not only natural to share with others, but to also receive from them as well. Remember it is okay to love yourself and to embrace yourself on your journey. It is okay to say no and not apologize for it. It is okay to change your mind, and to find different ways of exercising your peace and happiness. It is not easy but I am learning life is becoming better when love is the center of it all, and love for your self only permeates more as being the lasting force that keeps you going through the more challenging times.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.