January 20, 2018 was one for the books—- the LA Women’s March left us everything BUT speechless.
Still gathering all my thoughts, but I can’t help but say...wow.
Wow to the sentiment of l o v e that was felt by so many different walks of life and to the countless smiles, high-fives, fists in the air, chanting, hugs, and life that stimulates all of one’s senses. And let’s not forget the endless wafting of bacon wrapped hotdogs from street vendors that also cheered us on...(don’t worry my vegan powers deflected every temptation)
Cristal and I have worked hard on an individual level to pull out our inner voice, and learn to trust it. I’m still learning, but today solidified the undeniable sentiment that together, our soft whispers magnify to larger than life volumes.
This journey hasn’t been easy, but neither has it been in vain. Today, we met some incredible people, including recording artist, activist, and fellow sister-Queen, Ms.Andra Day.
We shared a brief but an impactful conversation all in gratitude for the role she personally played in helping to bring Herstory to life. It is why her single “Rise Up” is still our personal anthem years after our launch.
We are both on an incredible high from all of the incredible speakers and guests that were in attendance. Next year we will be joining you on that same stage—(hey, a girl can dream right?)
Till next week Queens and Kings in solidarity we stand, we speak up, and we march!
DevinMarie & Cristal Lowe
Click below for the link of both Andra Day’s single “Rise Up, and how we continue to draw inspiration from it.
It’s morning... and yes, you can bet I have my water boiling on the stove top, and I’m currently chugging down my @essentia water bottle to get my first liter in of the day. 💦 Did I mention it’s 4am?!
Okay...so most mornings I don’t wake up THIS early. But I do wake up early enough to give myself the time I need...
Sooooo what does self-care look like on my busiest of days?
I mean, do you really have time for this stuff? My anwser;
No. No we don’t have time for this stuff.
We make time for this stuff.
This week I wanted to touch on INTENTIONAL Self-Care and how anyone and I mean anyone can do it—whether you’re a mom juggling 3 kids on your own, a rape survivor like myself who got all the counseling and therapy she needed, but never heard anyone say “take some ‘me’ time.” Or a college student stretching out last week’s @postmates order as “meal-prep” (I’ve been there😅), this is for you. For the humans in all of us that need to reset daily to survive in this world. I hope this puts things in perspective.
Do you ever ask yourself, “Who am I doing this all for?” Like before you commute to work, are you Ike “I’m literally taking on a double-shift for me because I LOVE this place.”😅🤪
Or does the student who is sitting in front of her/his laptop after 4 hours writing their term paper, ask “who is this assignment for??”
Or better yet, what is my purpose in doing ______??
We hardly ever ask these questions in our daily lives or activities. In most cases, we settle into the routine of things just to survive. The only problem with settling for anything is that when life disrupts us, we are hardly grounded because our foundation has yet to be set on I n t e n t i o n.
That intention can be big or small. But what if we added purpose behind that intention daily?
This is where self-care became important to me. I knew WHY I was doing something for a change, not because I wanted a degree from all of my studies, or a promotion from my employer, but because I was giving myself purpose.
This is a purpose that God has always placed inside of me that I had yet to actively discover and practice daily. So how do I know my purpose, or find my purpose?
I personally spent time alone with God. I minimized my time being influenced by outside influences (music, certain foods, people). I fast and I pray intentionally for a designated amount of time.
My mornings and evenings are very much like this! They are becoming more and more spiritual experiences for me. I am appreciative of my tea-time and scripture reading even if that means waking up and hour or 20min. earlier to fully take in that moment.
These moments are essential to me. I wish I had started sooner, especially in my earlier years of healing post- sexual assault. Healing is equally a vulnerable time, and also a freeing time—when we heal from any trauma, we are suspectable to infection, if we are exposed to the wrong thing. Consider this, a physical wound needs intentional and regular cleaning after an accident; as does your heart, and your soul from the emotional trauma that proceeds from negative experiences.
Self-care has been the cleaning in my life I know my mind, body, and soul needs in order to coexist with every other part of my being.
My prayer is that you intentionally participate in adding self-care in your life. Start small, every intention counts. Even if you add 1 hour a week or 5 minutes a day to unplug from your other intentions (work, school, family, relationships, etc.) and go outside, stretch to your favorite song, make some tea, write in your journal, meditate on God’s word, pray, go for a run, out on a face mask, put your phone on do not disturb, cook your favorite meal...whatever it is, be kind to you...and trust me, you’ll thank yourself for it later 🙏🏽💗
In my journey of pursuing my destiny with peace, love and care, I came to a conclusion that change infact is a part of my destiny. I use to think I needed to rebuild myself back to who I use to be post-rape. But rape changed me, and I couldn’t keep denying that fact. Scared of this change, I have now made peace with this fact knowing GOD has created me in His image; therefore, I can no longer go back to the image I once was.
I want other survivors to know, that change is okay. That you don’t have to hide who you are to embracethe beauty of who you are becoming.
After all, it was change that taught me the importance of self-care and love.
For the longest time ever I felt like I could not change my “image.” I was afraid of stepping out the box, and trying something different to my physical appearance, even something like changing my hair color. I conjured up this idea of how a survivor should present herself when speaking with others.
Sometimes we want to hold onto a memory like a child holds on to a balloon—grasping on for dear life, afraid it will fly away. In the same way, I would hold on to the image of who I once was before I was assaulted, at least then, I didnt truly know that type of pain. I played it safe, casually dressed, never really took risks in my appearance.
Im sure you might be asking, “what does how you carry yourself have anything to do with the healing in the inside of me? I recently realized I was trying to relive the years I thought I lost as the “old me” never really giving way to the evolution of the New me. Part of me healing was in me embracing the difference I’d seen in myself after I was assaulted. Just as the Earth transitions in seasons, like Fall, Winter , Spring and Summer, we too, go through seasons of change.
So in order to continue to extend self love and care inwardly, I am learning to embrace it outwardly. I decided to chop my hair, throw some highlights and embrace the New me. I’m forever evolving. I'm in the season of winning, winning in self-love I neglected to show myself for so long.
In this season of winning I'm embracing change to reach my destiny, Changing jobs, my look, and be more intentional with how I treat myself.
I encourage you out there to acknowledge your process...and also encourage you to challenge yourself as you change. Even if the change is in replacing your gloss to a vibrant colored-lip, or from wearing black to lighter colors... it all takes time, but whatever change you make embrace the process and walking into your season of winning!
HAPPY N E W Year everyone! We are so elated to begin a new chapter here at Herstory. Both Cristal and myself, DevinMarie are working towards growing, healing, and loving ourselves and our readers one story at a time! We finished 2017 off with an amazing opportunity we will share this month with you all—2018 we are pursuing God’s purpose, including implementing our journey with you post Sexual-assault as well as support you through challenges of healing process. This is going to be an amazing amazing year—we pray you continue to be inspired and feel all the love we have to share with you!
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.