Hi I’m Venus Chandler and I am a survivor of childhood trauma and this is a piece of my story.
I was born to A 14, year old girl who completely trusted the world. She was lost and did not know her way. As a result, I became the victim of mental, physical, sexual abuse as well as neglect, etc.
As early as I can remember I had started being molested by multiple people men and women. I had been molested by my mother’s and aunt’s boyfriends. I was also sexually molested by neighbors, family and friends of the family.
As a teenager my mother’s mental illness had overcome her and one day, she decided to pack her things, have me walk her to the Trailways (now Greyhound) bus station and she left. My mom moved to another city and changed her name. My siblings and I ended up in the children’s home and foster care as a result of my mother leaving.
Around this time, I started hating myself and blamed myself for my mother going away. I used to tell myself if she would come back, I would be the best kid ever. I would never give her another problem as long as she did not leave. I had become so depressed and even tried to take my life but I was unsuccessful.
Me and my sister ended up going to live with a relative who her husband was one of the people who had molested me earlier in my childhood. When we moved there, the abuse started again and this time with my baby sister. My uncle would remind me on a daily basis how ugly I was, how unwanted and unloved I was. I could not understand why no one believed me when I told these things was happening to me and my sister. For a long time, I believed what my uncle said about me and that was burned in my brain for many years to come.
I ended up meeting, marrying and having children with my kid’s father but he was an abuser. My then husband started physically abusing me very early on in the marriage and I lost a child as a result of being beat. My son Terrance was born on the 4th of July and died one month later. Eventually, the beatings escalated. One night he beat me so bad and choked me until I stopped breathing. I felt something jerk me up and I took off running. As I ran screaming for help all I could see is blood everywhere and a very chaotic seen. The paramedics were called and he was arrested. Later I found out that a neighbor heard me being beat and came downstairs from the upstairs apartment, kicked the door in and snatched me up and she then called 911.
Eventually, I had enough of the hurt and pain of being abused and left husband and turned to the streets. These traumas ended up leading me down a very dark path. I started drinking heavily, partying, neglecting my children and used prostitution as a way of supporting me and my children. I did this for many, many years.
Eventually, I found God and that was the start of a very long path of changing my life. Many other things happened in between then and now but eventually I changed my life.
Today, I am happy, healthy, whole and love myself beyond measure. I have become an Author of a book called “A Silent Scream, My Story, My Truth.” I am now a Life Coach, Speaker and Childhood Trauma Advocate. I share my story all over the world and anywhere I go because I know that there is someone out there who have suffered the same traumas and had an effect on their life in a bad way. I want to show them that there are other alternatives and that you do not have to allow your past to define your future. I want to show them how to use their voice to find their power and reclaim their lives. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, thank you for giving people like me this platform to use our voice and thank you for allowing me to hopefully use this platform to help save, change or empower another life.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.