It's Friday...and I couldn't be more over-joyed! I don't know about you all...but this week had its road bumps...and a few blessings as well! First and foremost, Cristal is on leave this week due to a new edition to her beautiful family!! So I'm sending my sister TONS of love right now as she is now a mommy to a beautiful baby boy; James Xzavier Lowe💙💙
And while she recovers, we at Herstory are here to help, or at the very least remind you that you're not alone in the process of healing, growth, and self love too!
We are continuing our Speak Out & Stand Up series with a message from our very own, DevinMarie.
I met a survivor of sexual assault yesterday afternoon, and over lunch we discussed our journeys to self-love and how we got
To where we are now. (I hope to have her contribute to our page soon) until then, I wanted to share a question that we kept revisiting asked during our meeting; "How did you know WHO to turn to, in your time of need?"
Initially, my mother was by my side trough most of the process after I was raped. However, assimilating myself back into school, and socializing again was incredibly difficult. In fact, I didn't go out much...like ever. In part, I believed, if I stayed home, or away from big groups I would avoid 1) it happening again or 2) someone finding out it happened.
The hardest part after the rape for me was keeping it to myself. There is nothing...absolutely NOTHING worse in my opinion than having to suffer emotionally, physically, or mentally alone. As much as I wanted to, I never discussed that night with my mother or anyone else for years. I so wanted to put it behind me. I didn't know how to process what happened, and thought I was better off distracting myself with surface based relationships with no substance, or stay to myself.
So how did I break this cycle??
Ummm...in a nutshell....👑JESUS....!!!👑
I literally found a greater faith amidst all of the pain I was burying. I asked in my growth in my relationship with God that He would give me the discernment I needed to speak to the right people about this.
I have been lead by God to speak to certain people (women in particular), some, being complete strangers, others, acquaintances. Every single time I did, God assured me, "it would be okay."
He was right, and has been every time! 💗
After each interaction, someone shared a similar experience or one of someone they knew. In the beginning of opening up I was an emotional wreck!!
( blood rushing to my head, body warming up, my hands sweating, my voice trembling, and hesitant....eyes always gazing low.
In those moments, every single word escaping my mouth was cutting me deep--My heart couldn't beat any louder I felt every vibration in my chest.)
But as I released that pain, I felt a part of me go... the release of my former self; who I THOUGHT I was because of what I went through.
Some people still may ask "well...how did you KNOW it was God's voice telling you share your story?"
I can only say that when you invite the Holy Spirit in your life...God gives you direction you may not understand but must be obedient to...realizing now that my shared testimony was the foundation for my personal healing.
But let's be honest; Rape, is not a pretty word. I still find myself using "sexually assaulted" to water-down the ugliness attached to rape. Having gone through it and knowing how I see myself now, a SURVIVOR, people can receive my testimony with less pain now when I share my story, and hear only of God's glory. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Sharing my experience with friends or family came at its own time for me, and I did it on my time. I did it when I knew I had to; even when I was incredibly fearful of what they might think of me.I always fell back on what Jesus reminds me of every day, that "no matter what your past looks like; you are mine. And I still love you the same." His love transformed me...and I'm grateful I can walk in that truth in order to share it with all of you!
So no matter where you are; STAND UP if not for anyone else, do it for you... because we are always, ALWAYS standing with you.💗👑🙏🏽
Love and light,
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.