In my journey of pursuing my destiny with peace, love and care, I came to a conclusion that change infact is a part of my destiny. I use to think I needed to rebuild myself back to who I use to be post-rape. But rape changed me, and I couldn’t keep denying that fact. Scared of this change, I have now made peace with this fact knowing GOD has created me in His image; therefore, I can no longer go back to the image I once was.
I want other survivors to know, that change is okay. That you don’t have to hide who you are to embracethe beauty of who you are becoming.
After all, it was change that taught me the importance of self-care and love.
For the longest time ever I felt like I could not change my “image.” I was afraid of stepping out the box, and trying something different to my physical appearance, even something like changing my hair color. I conjured up this idea of how a survivor should present herself when speaking with others.
Sometimes we want to hold onto a memory like a child holds on to a balloon—grasping on for dear life, afraid it will fly away. In the same way, I would hold on to the image of who I once was before I was assaulted, at least then, I didnt truly know that type of pain. I played it safe, casually dressed, never really took risks in my appearance.
Im sure you might be asking, “what does how you carry yourself have anything to do with the healing in the inside of me? I recently realized I was trying to relive the years I thought I lost as the “old me” never really giving way to the evolution of the New me. Part of me healing was in me embracing the difference I’d seen in myself after I was assaulted. Just as the Earth transitions in seasons, like Fall, Winter , Spring and Summer, we too, go through seasons of change.
So in order to continue to extend self love and care inwardly, I am learning to embrace it outwardly. I decided to chop my hair, throw some highlights and embrace the New me. I’m forever evolving. I'm in the season of winning, winning in self-love I neglected to show myself for so long.
In this season of winning I'm embracing change to reach my destiny, Changing jobs, my look, and be more intentional with how I treat myself.
I encourage you out there to acknowledge your process...and also encourage you to challenge yourself as you change. Even if the change is in replacing your gloss to a vibrant colored-lip, or from wearing black to lighter colors... it all takes time, but whatever change you make embrace the process and walking into your season of winning!
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.