Hii Queens and Kings, It’s reflction time as we as we close out 2017...can y’all believe that?! There are a lot of topics we covered this year, and many that really resonated with me that I would love to touch on, but one in particular continues to tug at my heart-strings...♥️ Of this year, one of the more challenging topics I felt I had to spend a little more time on was writing for our Conquering Giants Series. I wrote one week on one of the biggest hurdles I’ve faced post sexual assault, was on letting go. Going through trauma teaches you 1. How freaking strong you really are...and 2. Habits you develop as a defense for survival. You ARE a survivor after all, and I can understand how after war, some soldiers come home and hear the rush of a train roaring down train tracks frightening or how crowded streets or rooms feel overwhelming. Their life post-war can seem out-of-control, and after intense surroundings rightfully so.
Now imagine that war against your own body, your body has survived trauma that causes your natural way of life to come to an abrupt hault. I had to be real then, as I am now, that there are still layers of habits I am shedding and surrending to God to heal me from. Layers of victimization I had deeply internalized that make an appearance during conversations or misunderstandings between friends, family, and while courting. Seven years later, and I’m letting go as frequently as I’ve had to learn to forgive and I mean truly forgive the man who assaulted me. This series forced me to be real with myself, and looking back, I know the work still is not done. At the same time , I am not walking around ashamed like “I’m no where where I want to be...and I have so much work left to do internally for me to feel accepted in LOVE.” No, I AM HERE. I am worthy of it NOW, I am worthy... I am beyond WORTHY. YES, I am WORTHY OF IT ALL. All the good I once ran away from or pushed away, I am worthy. And I will continue to practice these affirmations because we didn’t survive what we did to just tell stories. We survived to take back what the devil stole from us, and I’m coming for mine; 7-fold! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you for riding with us through the journey, I pray we are helping you in yours! XxxXx with love and solidarity, DevinMarie
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August 2020
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