As I reflect on a past blog I wrote about conquering Giants, I can't help but cry out to my Lord and Savior in gratitude for never leaving me in the dark even when I didn't understand His will.
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
James 1:12 KJV
As I recap on a long journey of healing while pursuing my dream of being in the fashion industry I must say it has not been an easy walk. Yes, I Interned at known companies around the world while in NYC yet I was unhappy due to my rape experience. While in NYC I was offered help to start my own collection. I thought to myself...this is what I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl, and it was finally about to coming to pass!”
As excited as I was, the devil tried to break me once again. The person who was "willing to help me" start my career in NYC launching my very own brand had other motives.
The person who presented me with this career-changing opportunity was trying to set me up to be sexually assaulted again. I remember an overwhelming feeling and the enemy whispering in my ear, “well how bad do you want this?" I thought you wanted your own clothing line?" As if to assume my past would always be a part of my future dreams, success and livelihood.
The devil tried to use my dreams and lined up temptation on my path. I wasn’t tempted to being abused again...I was tempted to listening to the lies that the enemy had whispered in my ear after being sexually assaulted. The lies that said I was worthless, and unworthy of obtaining anything good in my life without manipulation and pain being involved. God allowed me to be strong and get stronger through daily prayer to walk away from a dream that was wrapped in evil.
Trust me this decision was not an easy one. When making a decision about whether or not to pursue my dreams with this particular opportunity I questioned whether I was just over-thinking this situation or if I just afraid because of my past.
In either case, I'm beyond grateful that God gave me the strength to walk away from what I knew could have potentially turned into a compromising situation.
Romans 5:3-4 NKJV says “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
I share this to further add that we go through many trials in life that are not easy to navigate on our own. I have learned that in doing God's will no matter how big or small of a tribulation it may be, God will never forget your desires, dreams and goals. Putting your own plans aside to truly live up to God's will and assignments in your life is the best thing I have done. I will continue to pray through difficult situations to find the strength to make the right decisions for my purpose-filled life.
—Cristal Lowe 💕
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