October is a big month for us here at Herstory. It has also been a big month for this country in the light of the Ford and Kavanaugh hearings.
Being completely honest, it has both both equally empowering as it has been emotionally-demanding for Cristal and myself. I have had to double up on the self-care the past week, stopped watching the news, and have been consuming myself in prayer, God's word, and fellowship with some of my favorite people.
I am grateful we can grow together, I am grateful we have this platform and this space where we can channel our frustrations, our hopes and goals for ourselves and other survivors. This month we wanted to revisit moments of empowerment in our journey and invite other survivors to “take back the night."
We will be covering what it means to take back that day/night we were assaulted and what it means to take back “the control”, your peace, and ultimately finding ways to live out your BEST life! (Yes, there is better, and a light post-trauma. There are avenues of pain, but know this is a path of triumph we can walk out together.)
You’re not alone in this, and this is the month we remind you that we’ve got this—and we’ll be here every step of the way!
To share a brief but powerful reflection is lie co-founder, Cristal Lowe, as she shares her story and her moment of reclaiming her past in this month’s new series.
a poem written by Cristal Lowe
Running away would of been ideal
One drug, one cup of wine
I should have followed my intuition
"It's just wine with a pretty strawberry"
Still I felt something was wrong
"Your still holding to that cup?"
One sip is all it took
Not old enough to buy my own drink
trying to figure out why I was being pressured by a friend
Why questioning thoughts kept circling my mind "is he putting something in the dink"
running through my mind
but thinking "no I’ve known this guy for almost 5years"
But it happened. I took that one sip and woke up to the act.
Part of me is hoping for help but no one could hear me
My friend is knocked out on the other side of the bed
No one can hear me.
I’m stuck on this bed left only
To think because I could no longer move
“God can't be real--God does not care.”
He’s having his way and all I can do is cry in silence
Resisting didn't work, thinking there is not much left I can do
Fear finally took over and I feel paralyzed in my mind as much as my body
I have finally run away but I still feel the pain.
I have finally left the pain behind. What a journey it has been to be able to give God a chance and ultimately give myself one after that night. That night changed everything. That night forced me to look at the world differently. That night resulted in my loss for self...but I was found. Finally found, I choose to seek after His guidance and move forward.
God was telling me
Don't walk in silence I see what you are going through. I know you think you are hurting alone but I'm right here.
You don't have to hurt anymore; if you
let Me in and I'll make you whole.
I'll teach you to smile and take your joy back
The devil has NO AUTHORITY over you
Let me in and I will teach you the way
I will teach you to smile.
I will teach you to LOVE again.
I will teach you to stand before your enemies.
I will teach you to take authority over dominion and principalities
Trust me daughter and I will make you the HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.