Hello readers! We are thrilled to be progressing with you all as we are now in don...don..dooonnnnnne...the month of FEBRUARY! Now for some of us, we might want to press that restart button and reconfigure some things on staying on track with goals or learning to let go of old habits. Others of us, have been diligent and focused on sights ahead (Proverbs 4:25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.)
In either case...we want to commend you for being HERE....this moment and waking up to a new day regardless of what lies ahead we all made a choice to just keep on, keepin' on! 🙏🏽 💃🏽
We are trying a few different things and wanted to introduce a new series every month, and so far it's been a great experience for Cristal and myself.
Sooo, as an extension of that, we are introducing a New Series pertaining to LOVE. Let's face it...the month of February oozes it, from aisles in grocery stores plastered in pinks and vibrant reds, to stuffed bears and chocolate shaped anything. It's definitely that time of year again when people ask you what your Valentine's Day plans are or what did that significant other get you on this "special day"?
I'll admit I'm a hopeFULL romantic... the type that shows that love isn't some fallacy or found one day a year, but it takes work, and I know firsthand having to find that and appreciate it within myself before meeting/having a healthy and equallized relationship.
This month we want to highlight all things love to where it matters most: within yourself. We want to reflect on the kind of love that can be constant and good, regardless of you're boo'd up or not❤; your internal relationship is a direct reflection of what's going on around you...which brings us to this week's topic as we are tackling: Seasons of singleness; and it's benefits to self-healing.
Contributer: Devin Marie
"In 2010, I was a freshman in college, and at the age of 18, I thought I knew everything there was to love. I found new love fast in high school and thought nothing could break our bond...except maybe this... I was raped my freshman year of college, and the emotional effects overwhelmed every part of my being; I could not share my broken and crushed heart with anyone else.
I became cold and selfish. I thought no one was there to protect me; no one who said they loved me was there in that moment to bust down the door, and throw the guy across the room, wrap me in their arms and rescue me from that 2-bedroom apartment. "Where were YOU?!" I would yell, scream, fight and cry, punch, and groan every ounce of aggression onto relationships thereafter; internally thinking, "I wish I had had just a bit of this strength "that night".
But I was drugged; I was incapable of moving and speaking, my ex went to school 3 hours away, my parents assumed I was fine studying at a friend's apartment. His roommates were outside of that bedroom playing FIFA and had assumptions of their own. And God...where the HELL were YOU?!" I would repeatedly ask.
Questions like these continued to circle my Mind for years after that moment and I displaced all of my hurt and confusion on everything and everyone around me.
I was use to this role; and I was sure victimhood suited me. But there's no healing or love in that place.
I found Jesus in between the relationship that faltered and a new one I jumped into too soon, too fast. (Oh look another lovely pattern of co-dependency)
See...my ideals of love and romanticism had forever been altered at a young age. I was molested repeatedly growing up by a family friend. I thought, it was somehow normal; this person cared about me, so this must all be part of what it means when you show someone you care....right? But I couldn't ignore the inner voice I had telling me "you're not okay... you need to stop this".
And that's just the thing--how could I stop the repetitive thought patterns or habits of dysfunctional love, I'd been use too all my life?
The Anwser was made pretty simple
to me: God and I had some work to do; and it started and ended within me.
📖💗Philippians 1:6 says:
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
When I accepted JESUS Christ as my personal savior; I heard God clearly speak to my heart and say" I'm not through with you yet; don't give up on yourself now"
Since then, He brought me out of a a four-year relationship, He sat me alllll the way down and said "Look, you're never going to get this love thing right until you learn the art from the master... ME! GOD is LOVE. LOVE IS GOD. (1 John 4:8)💗
So I surrendered my idea of what love was apart from manipulation, pain, abuse, confusion, and straight-up dysfunctionality and embraced my self for once
In my life. I took over 100 days with God consecrating myself for Him, and Him alone.and I finally broke. I broke away from mistreating myself any longer. I broke away from telling myself I wasn't worthy of the man God created for me to partner with. I broke up with my former self who blamed everyone and everything around her. I took up my responsibility as a WOMAN of GOD to get my life back, honey!!
I embraced who I was and got
To know why I do or think certain things..my self-awareness was at an all-time high; And to this day I'm STILL making progress! I can definitely say now; that singleness was the best time of life. I know who this woman is; at least, in this moment. I fight off those annoying insecurities like the next person, I still rebuke negative thought patterns I know are not me anymore, but I've been able to embrace my healing because of allllll of this...and from me to you..."it was worth it".
The pain from rape and abuse is real. I can never diminish that life-altering experience for myself or others through my words; even through this here blog. But HEALING is REALLY REAL too! I'm living proof that TRUE love DOES exist independent of co-dependency or
pain from a hurtful past. If you WANT this; you've got to put in the work. Take it day by day, moment by moment. And live for YOU today so God can show you how beautifully and wonderfully made you truly are.
Repeat after me: "My singlessness OR relationship is not a measure of my self-worth. It starts with "self" for a reason. It begins and ends with me. And God ain't finished with me yet!"
-with Love & Solidarity
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.