Loving yourself more everyday begins and ends with: HONESTY.
We've heard it before, the saying "the truth will set you free" but from what are you being freed from?
Sexual assault affects the individual more than just in the Moment it happens. We the survivors, are left to pick up the pieces when our world shattered into a million pieces.
But which ones do we pick up? What part of the puzzle do we choose to stick back together? The truth is, there is no perfect way to heal, and we don't promise to have all the Anwsers to everyone's situation.
We don't want to generalize sexual assault either and treat it like another statistic. We know that every person who fulfills a statistic comes with a story. Every survivor deserves to reclaim their story. Which is why we are here.
HOW do YOU reclaim a past you wish you could forget?
Step 1. Honesty
If you've ever been in a physical accident before and had the scars to prove it you'll know what we mean.
If you're walking around with crutches and people ask how it happened, you can come with a quick response "oh, I had a skiing accident, or I had knee surgery."
Emotional trauma, though less obvious, carries a similar weight. People can't detect WHY someone is the way they are, and straight out ask "why don't you trust people, or why are certain settings uncomfortable for you?"
But you can, and how we choose to share or not share is entirely up to you. But the story you tell yourself is what's most important.
Having been a survivor myself, i choose to share my story with others because I know how redundant and strenuous it was for me to reclaim the story told me by society and our culture.
I chose to call myself a survivor and no longer a victim like the police report indicated.
I chose to tell myself AND accept, that this experience was NOT my fault, even after the hundreds of scenarios I thought could have helped avoid being assaulted ran through my mind.
I chose to be HONEST with how I felt in the process of moving forward. If I felt anger I accepted it. If I felt sad, or upset, bitter, misunderstood, I accepted it. I learned to acknowledge every ray of emotion and told myself "it was okay" to feel.
I chose to be honest with others and let people know my boundaries. I couldn't expect people to see and understand my emotional crutches.
I chose to be honest with myself that what I went through was real, was hurtful, and most importantly NOT my end-all story.
It was a painful moment, physically and emotionally, but it was a moment. And I had a lot of other moments I could choose to project that pain or become better or stronger because of it.
I didn't want my entire life to reflect a moment that I didn't have control over. So I decided, I got to choose, I had the control and authority to give myself permission to be honest not only about my pain, but my healing and growth.
With love and solidarity,
this week's contributer: written by Devin Marie
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.