A message from cofounder Devin Marie:
As we near the end of our "Free from Fear" series, I am again learning more than ever about my personal journey post-rape.
I have to admit, as much as I feel solidarity amongst the women and men that have come forward about their experiences of sexual abuse and harassment in the media, I also share sentiments of triggers from my past. (Thinking to myself..."great, there goes fear again🙄).
I didn't want to admit it to myself. I didn't want to feel like that scared girl anymore. I wanted to know I was healed and keep it pushin'.
Ater all, I have EVERY reason to feel blessed, and grateful for all God has given me in my life. I have come so far from the girl who stood outside of classroom doors afraid to enter a large lecture hall of students who heard rumors I "sleep around for popularity." I've come a long way from hours in therapy sitting across the room from someone who guided me to the conclusion that I may not find the justice I FELT I deserved; so I had to create my own. I've come a long way from panic attacks and night terrors, from anger raging so deep--my insides warmed to the likeness of hell. I lived in that reality and I've come a long way from it.
Seven years.... it's been seven years this month since that night; seven--said to be the year of completion according to scripture.
And my...has this year shown many facets of my being...it has forced me to step out on faith even more. To understand that seven years of completion means more realization of myself and a deeer relationship with God.
I didn't realize that it's actually OKAY to still feel even after this much time has past. It's okay to allow yourself permission to unravel again if you must in order to inhale and exhale freely without anxiety trapping your lungs. It's okay to fall and find embrace as your knees touch solid ground because you're not kneeling in submission of the pain, but submission to your purpose. I fell this month--to tears, and isolation, to not wanting to engage with people, to not wanting to face work, or even the joys I found in modeling, I was simply depleted. And I couldn't fathom as to why, or what was "wrong with me."
Ironically, I dispersed my internal angst onto the presence of those who do care and love me. I have been made more aware that no matter how many year that pass, I am in need of savior even more so than ever before.
In admitting that "completion" doesn't equate to perfection, but God who IS perfect in an imperfect situation...I can be free of the fear that I will stay in that dark place. I'm free from feeling like breaking down is the end. When in fact, it's the position for me to break THROUGH.
So Queen...King...give yourself permission to unpack the baggage of past pains, and free yourself from the idea that "completion is perfection". Because being truly whole is recognizing when you're not all the time. And just like that moment; when pain interrupted your life, it doesn't last forever. Keep healing... even when the work is already done in you. LIVE it as much as you've prayed for it. 🙌🏽🙏🏽💗 #itsfreedomtime --love & solidarity always
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.