We've all been there, or maybe we invisioned what we might do, or say when our past meets with us in our present.
I use to fear running into the person who sexually assaulted me on campus. For a whole year, I was escorted by security in between classes while chargers of rape were being investigated. Unfortunately, this fear continued to carry with me even after graduating from community college.
Cristal and I have talked and prayed about the time it would come when we might hear for physically come in contact with the person responsible for taking advantage of us. In these conversations we unraveled our deepest fears; that it might happen again, that he might want to harm us more than before...but after exhausting these projected fears we learned to let go. We also learned to allow God to heal us and remind us; "Whom shall we fear, for those that love the Lord with all their hearts?"
Recently, Cristal responded to this very moment, and it was evident...She only fears ONE man; Here is her take on the encounter:
You broke me down
And killed me inside
Yet I stayed breathing
Never thought I could see
You eye to eye without
Hating you or wishing you the same death I felt inside
I couldn't go anywhere with out feeling this fear
It must have been read across my face...
But God healed me!
Yes it took years but GOD did it for me!
I saw you.
Thinking back I thought I would want to yell; curse you out of your name wishing the worst thoughts possible over you--
But my God is an amazing God that can turn every single pain into victory.🙌🏽
When I saw you;
I could only pray,
Pray that God may have mercy on you
Pray that God would bless you
I did nothing I once thought I would, but know it's because of God I can walk with a smile on my face.
God has made me Victorious in his image, No weapon form against me shall prosper
Not the weapon of rape, or fear, or bitterness and resentment.
If only you could see me; because THIS...THIS is called FREEDOM.
We commend you Cristal for your continuous bravery. Let this be a testament to how we can CHOOSE to respond when our past meets us where we are in present times. To be honest, we cannot control who or what or how things remind us of a time we'd much rather forget. But let's not forget; let's not ignore a past that was an obvious
Learning moment. I've learned that in a world that is unpredictable and sometimes cruel; we don't have to sway WITH its unrelenting experiences, we can go through them by accepting that this moment is an experience NOT an identity-marker. We are not rape, not violence, nor pain, we may have experienced these things, but we are stronger for surviving. We are BETTER NOW living in freedom and out of bondage that's would have kept us from our destiny had we allowed it.
Choose Freedom; we found ours in Jesus. We pray you live in it as we are, and will be here in the process 🙏🏽
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.